Gym Stalker

This is what I get for being friendly--my very own gym stalker. Here's what happened. I'm about to walk into the club and gs is blocking the entrance because his ID card is lost somewhere in his gym bag. But instead of going around him, I wait for him to complete his search and rescue mission. Thanks, he said. No problem, glad you found your card. I'm Ian, what's your name? And so it begins... We trade a couple of March Madness picks before I kindly excuse myself and head to the locker room. It was so nice meeting you, says gs. You too, have a good workout. All changed and iPod ready, I head out to the cardio room. Oh hi again! Yeah, like I didn't see this coming. Niceties are exchanged (again) and I speed walk to my treadmill. Twenty minutes later, I'm huffin' and puffin' and trying my darnedest to stay on the rotating belt. Here comes gs. Oh Lord! Really? I fake like I can't hear him through my headphones. But like any good gs, he continues to talk. I'm considering squirting him with my water bottle but he'd probably go buy me another one. So instead I do the next best thing. How about we chat later, I say? gs smiles happily and exits stage right. After my run, I survey the room and make a quick run for it. I doubt it will take him long to find my replacement.

Cardio Tease

I officially gave up the Cheetos on Monday and made a same-day appointment with myself at the gym. Figured I’d download a few TV shows to my iPhone to make the elliptical workout tolerable. And since I’ve seen just about every TV show ever made (BBC included) finding something new wasn’t easy. But HBO’s The Wire is one show that has alluded me over the years so I hit the purchase button. Fast forward to me at the gym. I’m on a cardio machine and there’s a man to my right pedaling away at an insanely high resistance level. Whatever, I’m not feeling inadequate, I have my TV show. Wait…what? Oh nice, a strip club scene. Naked women all over my iPhone. I’m about to press the stop button but then realize it’s somewhat motivating. Not that I want to work a stripper pole someday but these woman obviously work hard for that body, right? And since I catch the guy next to me checking out my screen, I guess he agrees too.